We're packing our bags...

...and moving! Well, not us physically (I love my house, we will be here forever!) but the blog. It's already moved actually... and updated! Can you believe it!?

Sometime in the next couple of months Matthew and I plan to add our smiling faces to the 1100 other smiling faces in Utah that are trying to adopt through LDS Family Services. We noticed that a lot of people have their blogs available for birth moms to learn more about their family and thought it would be a good idea so we needed to become anonymous. It's an easier way to get yourself out there and also get referrals from friends and family.

Our new blog is cutelittlemonkeys.blogspot.com. For all of my e-Bffs, make sure to update all your linkys! All my links disappeared on the new blog but I will add them back shortly!

I also removed the videos form the new blog because I am wicked smart and my YouTube sign on also had my last name! =)

I made caramels!

And in doing so learned a very valuable Christmas lesson... it's not the making of the caramels that keeps everyone from doing it, it's the wrapping of them! I didn't get the memo... so there I am wrapping and wrapping. Oh well... the first batch went so fast at the Anderson's on Sunday (and the days before just sitting on the counter here) that I made a couple more batches. One for the rest of the holiday and one to take the NICU gathering tonight. All of the volunteers are supposed to bring goodie to share and it just doesn't get much goodie-er then homemade caramels.

So my boy is so sick! He is hacking away, they are very productive coughs and I guess that's good right? Abbi's sick too and Traci's taking her to the doctor so I will be anxiously awaiting those results before I decide what to do about my little guy. He isn't sleeping well at all because he can't breath and/or suck on his binki and when you get him he just complains. Course his complaints are 'dadadadadadada...nnnnnandadadada' which is even more sad I think. So he's been keeping me up at night since Monday night. Poor little dude. Hopefully he will start getting better soon.

Duncan loves wheels. Any wheels... just wheels. He's so random. He will take all of his pull toys with wheels and flip them over and play with the wheels. Even on Sunday at grandmas I looked over and he had a bunch of wheeled toys surrounding him, all upside down. I guess this is a boy thing? He will take one finger and roll them. More then this, he has realized he can crawl while pushing the pull toys. So uhmm... yea.. that silly lawn mower that he got for his birthday? Yea, the one the makes that really loud popping noise? He pushes it all over the kitchen! And in case you're wondering, it is as loud as ever.

Everyone done with Christmas shopping? I think I am but I am sure something else will come up and we will need to run out. Matthew pulled several angels from the Angel tree at his work. I miss the angel tree I always loved going down so I was really glad when he did it even without me mentioning it. Just goes to show how great he is. Anyway, we went shopping for a lot of coats the other night. He got a couple of toy ones but said once he saw the coat ones it was over, he had to grab those. From what I understand the clothes angels go to families and the toy ones go to a school that allows the parents to shop. It was fun shopping even though we were rushing to hit there and the grocery store in one night. (Which doesn't sound to complicated until you weigh in the twin factor).

We had to be back early because a different quartet had to practice "Oh Come Immanuel" for the Sunday program. I LOVE that Christmas song, it's my favorite so if any of you know of a good version of it leave me a note, I am still looking for the best one.

And I threw this picture in of me attacking Duncan - Who is obviously tired of being smothered - not so you could see his cute face (although isn't he so cute?!) but so you could see "toy land" behind him. Seriously, is this place heaven or what? And in our defense, a lot are hand me downs from Abbi, or borrowed from Aunt Jill!


There is one thing that we have learned and that is that Dylan loves Care Bears. I think she thinks they are her babies. She gets so excited and pulls them close to give them nice open mouth kisses. Don't get any idea's people, we have them all. Some from Shane and Traci - a lovely donation from their cousin Giselle - and of course the crystal Anniversary Cheer Bear from Aunt Jessica.


Keeping busy - Here are the Christmas cards and the wedding invitation that I did in the last couple of weeks. They were super fun! I just need to talk more people in to sending out Holiday cards and having babies right? Get on it people!


The Mathews


Megan and Michael's last minute announcement. And no, it's not in the mail yet... They have plenty of time right? Yea... not so much. At least it's ready when they are.


Okay - and just because they are super cute, here are a couple of new videos of my cute sick boy. This morning he was willing to do his tricks on camera, briefly... I always kiss his hands when he tries to play with my face while I am nursing and yesterday he stopped and gave it a shot himself... It's super cute because it's so new he still has to concentrate and how to get his lips just right to make noises.

Duncan making kissy noises


Duncan waving

Hi mom!

Oh yea... I saw you. Thought you could sneak in but I saw our little visit from Australia. Hope your having fun, envision Duncan waving. (He kind of does it with both hands if that helps.)

Christmas is coming too fast!

I finally got all of our Christmas cards out but we had a little problem with a a shortage of envelopes. I was just using what we had and not wanting to run to the store. So, some will be hand delivered, that means I love you that much more right? I am willing to get envelopes (or steal them from Michael and Megan) so if I forgot you, it doesn't mean we don't love you, just let me know mkay?

Speaking of the love birds, they are coming over tonight so I can do their invite. They waited too long, seriously... they got their pictures taken a week ago and the very minimum to get invites here is two weeks! That's practically the eve of their union. Crazy... anyway... so I will do them and we will get them to Costco for printing and hopefully they can get them out on Monday. Crazy kids... Seriously. They are just lucky they are sweet and funny and have random people they can call in favors from.

I forgot to mention that we went to the pageant last Sunday with Matthew's extended family. This little event is one that everyone always complains about but when it comes down to it, oh yea... they are singing. Personally, I love it... because they all can sing really well which allows me to sing even louder because my voice is masked. So there were all the adults happily singing along while 30 or so kids ran loose and wild tearing apart the church. I am sure every child there slept quite well. I just can't wait until next year when I can let mine loose too, then I can focus on eating the yummy food!

Doug and Sharrie came down on their way to Mexico last night and it was a nice little visit. They got to meet the babies for the first time (last time they came down the babes were in the NICU). Duncan was too busy exploring Shane and Traci's house to be terribly social but he was still cute. At one point Abbi waved to him and he waved back which was my proud parent moment since he finally learned to wave this week. I will go into his room to get him from a nap and he will wave to me. So freaking cute... Anyway. Like everyone does, they were just loving up Dylan all night. She really has this little baby girl thing going for her and I think she knows it. she works it.
Duncan and Uncle Shane


We brought home hand me down toys from Abbi and one is this laughing Cookie Monster. Seriously, have any of you seen this thing? It's HILARIOUS! He throws himself down on the floor and rolls from side to side. I think it's more of an adult toy since I was the one getting the kick out of it. Matthew showed it to Dylan who thought it was funny at first but then it quickly turned into just sheer terror. It was terrible. For the record though, she thinks it's funny again today, maybe she was just tired last night.

This morning we went to the church for a brunch where Matthew sang some Christmas music with a quartet that they put together. They did really super well, but I knew they would they practiced over here! I love it when the entertainment comes to me, I can just sit in the next room with the babies and listen. Santa came too, but it was nap time so we didn't stay to freak out the kids. Besides, I figure if I get pictures with Santa every year, I will have to do it with every kid and why set such a high precedence? Last year only Dylan saw Santa because he came to the NICU at Primary, Duncan was sequestered at home. See, already the scales are tipped, I don't know how parents do it.

The other day Dylan was sprawled out on the couch sleeping and Duncan came over and would tickle her hand until she moved it and then laugh and laugh. She would put it back and relax again and then Duncan would do it again. That was pretty cute. I am trying to put Dylan on the floor more and more so she becomes less of a novelty to Duncan. But I will walk away and hear Duncan giggling and come over to him poking an eye out.

Yep, this was the day, in her new outfit from Aunt Jill.


It has ears!


Daddy and daughter moments.

What a busy weekend!

Saturday we went to Ben's baptism which was so fun. He had so many family members there and was so excited. It was pretty cute. Afterwards we headed over to Ami's, it was a housful and somehow we were the last ones to leave. Not sure how that happened but it did. Apparently we were having too much fun and the party left us.

Then I went over the NICU for a little while and was reminded why I do it. When I went into one of the rooms a nurse said to go into a room where the curtain was drawn. I usually don't go in when it's closed off like that because sometimes the mom is sleeping or nursing or something but then nurse went in ahead to make sure all was well and I went in.

In the room there was a young couple with their friend. The mom was so grateful when I said I was from Parent Support she said "Oh, I am so excited, you are exactly who we wanted to talk to, someone who has been here." As we were talking it came out that their baby will probably be in the hospital for a while even though he was a 37 weeker. He's going to get a treatment for a virus that likely caused neurological and developmental problems. Normally I don't talk about my kiddos because the focus is really on these parents and their new babies but I was compelled to share a little bit about Dylan. There were just too many similarities to ignore, the unknown, the rareness of the problems and the lack of support groups. I shared with this mother that even if there were support groups for my daughter I wasn't sure I would want to know because there isn't a lot of positive stuff out there.

Then we talked about the future and how the doctors diagnose problems, and tell parents what they have to, they aren't taught to believe in miracles and exceptions. I just told these parents to take things one day at a time. Focus on their baby's needs now, get him home and then just focus on what's next because you never know about these special little ones. I shared how much joy Dylan brings us and our extended family and assured them that their little guy will do the same for them no matter what his challenges are. These kids write their own books and none of them are alike, or even similar for that matter. It was such a fabulous conversation and she told me that I was the most inspiring person that they have talked to so far. Not necessarily that their son won't have problems, but they were assured that they could handle whatever he had for them. The nurse caught me a few minutes later and thanked me. She said when she heard who I was she knew she had to get me in there since someone from Parent Support was who this family was waiting for.

So now you have it, that's why I do it... I am selfish. I left with such a wonderful feeling knowing that I was able to talk to this family and help them try to adjust to this huge task that has been given to them. Ahhh... I can't get over it really, it makes me want to go back. I am sorry I can only catch a couple families each week and that I rarely, if ever, talk to the same parents twice.

Saturday night I went to Megan's bridal shower over at Kristen's. Dylan and I left the boys at home an went over for the girl party. It was a nice little get away for the two of us and we just chatted it up for a couple of hours. Matt Christensen did their engagement pictures that morning and we should have them by Wednesday. I am excited to see them! I love Matt's pictures anyway but when they are of people I know and love it makes them all the better!

I tried to give Duncan a little fauxhawk this week and it looked terrible. Between the fine hair and his father's hairline it ended up looking more like a white trash mowhawk. Boo! Hiss! Jill told me that it will look better when he has more hair, that boys all start out like this but I can't imagine... I guess I will try again in six months!

I did my Christmas cards this week too, Ami took the picture when we went tree shopping. I just love to do these and baby announcements, it's a throw back to my working days! It keeps up the Adobe skillz if ya know what I mean!

Almost forgot, Dylan's head was infected! Seriously, if it's not one thing it's another with this little girl. I am so glad I took her in! She had a staph infection which her Ped said is a typical hospital infection. Poor kid. Good thing they put her on that antibiotic!

Mayo shots

The babies got their Synagis shot (RSV Vax) yesterday and boy was that fun! I called on Monday because Dylan had some left over stitches that looked like they might be getting infected, they were certianly irritated, and the nurse told me it was officially RSV season and they needed to come in anyway.

Dr. Wirkus made a quick appearance to take the stitches out and get some of the goo (nast!) to culture and then he was on his way. I was teasing him because he just popped them right out and I swear I tried! He said "Why do you think they made me go to so many years of med school! I obviously didn't miss that day!" It was cute. I really like him, and the nurse Eldine, even though she pokes the kids and then leaves me with them crying! So we added an antibiotic to her daily medicine and it became that much more nasty the it was before (I think this new one is supposed to taste like grape, key word 'supposed'.) So again, thank goodness for the medicine port.

We went to the Festival of Trees today which was fun, man there were a lot of trees... and stuff. I didn't remember it having so much stuff but I haven't been in a few years. Shelly gave me the tickets as a thanks, and I am glad we got the chance to go. Obviously, so were the kids (ha!):

Here's mom though!

And time to go, look at these cheekies!

Big day... (This by the way, is the blanket Jessica made for her and brought to the hospital last time. It's darling! I love it, and she loves to eat the scallops!)


Before we went though, I did try to get some pictures of them together. I will never learn that this isn't a one person job. But I have Christmas cards to think about people! And so, I will just keep trying. I did get a lot of her by herself, but only one keeper of them together.

So much to say!

She's looking at Duncan, I love it.

And a shot of the forgotten baby. Who seems to think I put these blankets on the floor for him... and not so the kids have a clean (and easily cleaned!) place to play. Nice.

Welcome to Holland

Earlier today, I told someone about this little story that I found when Dylan was in the NICU and we were discovering all of her challenges. It's so good, I wanted to put it here... where I can share it with all of you. I kept meaning to, but then I would forget, or someone would get a new tooth... but since I was reminded of it. Here we are:

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David.
The gondolas in Venice.

You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.